Lists, Personal

You Found Me How…? A Top Ten List

I’m fascinated by search terms. I very much enjoy reading how people find this blog of mine. I think it’s partly because I do research for a living (granted, mine is more scientific and less…orgasmic).. As I’m still in the middle of both The Thicket and Needful Things, I have no new review for you. I do, however, have new search terms (you can see last month’s popular searches here)

On the life side of things, I made (and drank) sangria for the first time. You can see it here – looks good, right? I was very proud, no making fun of my man hands though. I saw the Indigo Girls and Bruce Cockburn in concert (and please no cracks about my age, I’m either stuck in the ’80’s-90’s or an old soul, best guess as to which). And finally I’ve decided I shouldn’t whine about my job, which I don’t do often because I usually love it (on any given day) and because this is my view.


These particular search terms are less popular than the ones I previously shared, but equally fun. In no particular order:

10. Richard Armitage Orgasm. There’s nothing appropriate I can say about this one, but I’m quite pleased someone found me this way.

9. I’m Still Confused. Me too.

8. Travel Every Night Different Bed + Freud. Freud would probably have a field day examining you.

7. Are you well? Yes.

6. Contemporary Paintings on Child Kidnapping. No commentary for this one…

5. Housewife Seducing Salesman for Sex. I do it all the time. Or not. I’m neither a housewife nor the type who seduces someone selling me something on my door step. Salesmen usually ask if my parents are home.

4. Brilliant Universe. Quite.

3. In Awe of You. I hope that you are, but forgive you if you’re not (and you shouldn’t be).

2. I wish you could tell me how you really feel and where I stand in your life. I wish for this too.

1. Leinenkugel Beer T-Shirts. The constant searches for t-shirts and macaroni and cheese can be solely blamed on John Sandford. Sadly, no Leinie t-shirts here.

Yeah, that’s all I have. I can’t even try to make this remotely intellectual. I could probably say something about sex and human nature, but I just can’t wrap my head around it right now. I feel like I should play Pepper’s FKARND for background music though. I actually kind of like the song (not my typical style), just don’t sing it in public. I also don’t recommended it for the easily offended. Obviously, to quote the fabulous Amber Dermont, I may not be getting any younger, but I am definitely more immature.

Please tell me someone else is getting these classy, inquisitive searches. Anyone?

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  • Acid Free Pulp

    I’ve written about this subject too (which never fails to give me a laugh). Personal favorite? Dicksquid.

    • Rory

      The search terms are by far the most useful part of blogging statistics, although I find country of origin to be interesting too. I can’t say I’ve ever had anything like dicksquid, not that I’m complaining…

      • Acid Free Pulp

        Oh, me too! I also try to figure out if any unexpected country was using those daily search terms.

  • gargoylebruce

    That is absolute Gold! Thanks for sharing 😀

    • Rory

      You’re welcome. I have a lot of fun reading through them, most of them are normal, but a few (like the ones above) are strange enough to be notable.

  • lauratfrey

    Well I reviewed Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty, so I get all sorts. Maybe I’ll do a post too.

    • Rory

      You should! I love reading other peoples. I reviewed Wrecked by Charlotte Roche and now can quite a few about blowjobs, sex, and the like – understandable given the topic of that book (the book proudly examines whether making coffee or giving a blowjob is easier – apparently the answer is the latter option). Who knew.

  • booksaremyfavouriteandbest

    So I wonder if that same person also visited me?! I really must do a post like this – ace topic.

    • Rory

      I imagine they must have. I also get quite a few searching for The Other Typist twitter discussion that we had (maybe there were others too?).

      And yes, you should. I think you got one on whether reading a certain book is preppy. I liked that one.

      • booksaremyfavouriteandbest

        Yes, it was Enid Blyton!

  • ohdearalice

    This is weird and hilarious, what strange terms! I don’t think I have anything as odd as that come up, I feel a little deprived.

    • Rory

      I have a lot of odd ones pop up, it’s made me question what I write about. 😉

  • Julie Merilatt

    Love Indigo Girls. Saw them summer of 2000 (feeling old).

    • Rory

      There were here at a small venue and I couldn’t resist.

  • RebeccaScaglione – Love at First Book

    I’m still confused is a FABULOUS way for someone to find your blog. Maybe you un-confused them!

    • Rory

      Maybe, but probably not. If anything, they probably left stark raving mad saying something like “too many books”.

      • RebeccaScaglione – Love at First Book

        Could be. . . could be confused on what book to read next.

        • Rory

          I sincerely hope so. That would be the best!

  • Jennifer @ The Relentless Reader

    Ha ha, these are priceless! You really ought to start selling Lienie tshirts my dear 😉

    • Rory

      I should, I don’t know that I could find one around here – I’ll have to come visit you and stock up. Apparently I also need to provide a recipe for Macaroni and Cheese with Pepperoni and Sandford fans the world over will be satisfied.

  • whatmeread

    Your article made me look at the summaries of my search terms, and although mine are disappointingly more normal, I did have a few funny ones: burning heretics england chaucer, a book about a girl and her father visiting family on an island with three houses (I know there is one, but I haven’t reviewed it, yet two people got to my site with this), khmer buddhistmonk have asex in tampler (huh?), ghost stories me tie dodie (okay), “the writing is so choppy” (yeah, I said that), lesbian book jay stewart (I swear, I didn’t use the term “lesbian book”), bibba is poison, jim prosing2012, 326 life. Most of the other ones are either book or character name searches or terms that sound like someone wants me to do their homework for them (why was reading moby dick challenging, when rain clouds gather:how chief matenge is an example of corrupt leadership?). Funny article! Great idea!–Kay R. of whatmeread

    • Rory

      Thanks! Most of mine are normal, but I do get a handful of ones like the above. The ‘Richard Armitage Orgasm’ has been quite popular as of late, so I am curious as to why. Is there something going on that I don’t know about…

      I get a lot of people looking for book spoilers or homework help as well. I’m not here to help you cheat, people!

  • Words for Worms

    Housewife Seducing Salesman for Sex was my doing. I was hoping for a tutorial. What a disappointment, RORY! (Seriously though, these are awesome and hilarious!)

    • Rory

      I neither have advice for housewifery nor seduction. My apologies. I’m far too boring for my own good.

  • kit @ bibliotekit

    Wow. I haven’t looked at my search terms for a while, but some of these are crazy! Although I kind of sympathise with whoever was looking for those kidnap paintings – I wrote part of my PhD thesis on Hollywood depictions of child death, which led to some pretty depressing search terms!

    • Rory

      That’s interesting to know. I always wonder what the reasoning behind the search terms are, so maybe it’s something intellectual and academic. At least I can hope, right?

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